Some reasons why we sabotage our own success, and suggestions for how we might begin to defeat those patterns of thought/behavior.

"One of my rules is: Never try to do anything. Just do it."

Ani Difranco

Deep down you know what you want.

You long for it even.

But, somehow you keep stepping on your own foot, creating your own limitations and obstacles, and getting nowhere as a result.

I'm sure it doesn't feel good yet many people do this to themselves over and over again. It becomes a self-defeating pattern.

But why?

Following are some reasons why you might be sabotaging your own success.

Suggestions are provided for defeating these negative thoughts and self-talk.

Desire for attention/support

Many of us have learned somewhere along the way, that we can get empathy, sympathy, caring and encouragement from others when we fail.

The comfort we receive feels validating, and the simple joys from our successes may not be as fulfilling or draw as much attention.

Therefore, without realizing it, we begin to recreate failure so that we can continue to receive the comfort and validation from others.

The danger lies in the inevitable reality that those around us may at some point in time grow weary, and begin to withdraw their continued support.

In a panic we may then work to create even larger, more devastating failures in order to once again obtain the comfort we were used to receiving.

We are seldom conscious of the fact that we may be doing this.

Stop the pattern!

Seek instead to obtain your energy and motivation through personal successes and praise for a job well done.

Just do it!

Unwillingness to take the step, and risk "failure"

"Why even try, I'll never get there anyway?"

This is a common fear.

So that even when an opportunity comes laying at our feet, we politely step over it-slightly annoyed by its temptation-and keep on going in the direction we were headed. Failure is all how you perceive it.

Failure can be interpreted instead as a learning opportunity, a message to shift direction ever so slightly.

Recognize opportunity as it lays at your feet, and next time, be sure to examine it.

Just do it!

Fear of success

Fear of success, is also more common than most people realize.

Perhaps we believe that we are not worthy of the great things we perceive comes with success, or the happiness that we seek.

We fear that if we achieve our most desired goal, we may not be able to live up to its demands-the skill/talent required to sustain it.

Perhaps before we've even achieved it, we fear its demise.

Fear of success keeps of from taking the necessary steps to realize the dreams we hold deep within.

Recognize that when you achieve your goal, you have already demonstrated your ability to maintain it!

Just do it!

Pursuit of the wrong goal

Many people work doggedly at pursuing a goal only to realize as they stand at the edge of success, it's not really what they want or find motivating.

Analyze your goal-are you pursuing something you feel you're supposed to?

If so, where does this feeling come from?

Work through it and identify what you want to do and why.

Then, just do it!