Do you dread attending parents' evenings at your child's school?

Does the thought of talking to teachers fill you with fear and loathing?

Does the very thought of talking to a teacher make you revert to feeling like a naughty school-kid?

You are not alone, many parents lose their confidence on parents' evenings but this article will help you to overcome your fears and enable you to talk to teachers with confidence.

Before you attend the parents' evening find out as much as you can about the format of the event.

Will you be able to have a private conversation with your child's teacher or will there be other parents in the room?

Will you have the opportunity to look at your child's work and records?

How much time have you been allocated for your conversation with the teacher?

If the communication you receive from the school, inviting you to parents' evening, does not contain all this information, telephone the school and ask for it.

Be as well prepared as possible before you go to the school.

Make sure you know the teacher's name and other basic information, such as which class and year group your child is in.

Jot down a note of the questions you want to ask the teacher.

It is very likely that you will only have a 10-15 minute slot and you don't want to waste any of it.

You will also not want to come out kicking yourself for not asking your most pertinent questions.

Do not go to the school feeling aggressive.

If you feel aggrieved by the way you think your child has been treated, make a separate appointment and talk to the teacher, or the principal, about it on another occasion.

Do not let things fester between you and the school - if there is a problem, tackle it with the school straight away - don't wait for parents' evening.

Before parents' evening practice relaxation and visualisation.

If you have had a bad experience at school yourself, try playing it backwards in your mind and adding a soundtrack of circus music to make it humourous.

This will help you to de-programme it from your mind. You survived.

And you want your child to have a better experience of school than you did.

So, don't go to your child's school with all the pent-up emotion, frustration and anger that you may be carrying from your own childhood days.

The chances are that your child's teacher wasn't even born when you were having those bad experiences, so don't take your bad memories out on them!

Relax and remind yourself that you are a responsible, confident adult.

Breathe deeply, relax your muscles and smile.

When you meet the teacher, greet them in the way you would greet a respected work colleague.

Say hello and shake their hand - even if they do not offer their hand, offer yours and they will feel obliged to take it.

This puts you on an equal, adult footing and helps to remind the teacher that they are talking to adults, not children (which can become an occupational hazard!).

Actively listen to what the teacher has to say about your child's work and progress.

You may wish to wait until the teacher has finished reporting to you before you ask questions in response to what he or she has said.

If his or her report has not covered the points you wish to raise, ask your questions.

Ask your questions in an open, assertive, but polite manner.

You are not there for a fight - you are there because you and the teacher have the best interests of your child at heart.

It is most likely that you will leave the parents' evening feeling happy and satisfied with your child's progress and performance at school.

You will also feel that you have handled the occasion in a relaxed, happy and confident manner and you can feel proud of the fact that you have set a shining example for your child.

If, however, you are not satisfied with any aspect of your interactions on parents' evening, calmly state your concerns to the teacher and inform him or her that you wish to take the matter up with the principal.

Arrange an appointment with the principal and calmly, confidently and assertively discuss your concerns until you are able to arrive at an acceptable agreement.

Parents' evenings are your opportunity to visit the institution where your child spends a great deal of their time and talk to the second most important person in your child's life - their teacher.

It is vitally important that you do not miss, or waste, these opportunities, especially if your issue is a "ghost from the past".

Get rid of that ghost and face your child's teacher as an equal.

Do not feel intimidated, as teachers are the first to recognise that they come a poor second in the education stakes after the role performed by a child's primary educators - their parents!

The vast majority of teachers want to work with you, as parents, to enable your child to be, "the best that they can be".

Good luck.