Have you ever received an invitation to a formal occasion and as you've read the card you've felt a sense of fear and trepidation rising from the pit of your stomach?

A lot of us have experienced this feeling at some time or another.

Where does that fear come from? Why do we feel so unnerved by formal events?

Well, it's the fear of the unknown and the fear of looking out-of-place and awkward that we dread.

We fear that we won't know what to wear, we won't know what to say, and that we will make some terrible faux-pas that everyone will notice and glare at.

We also fear that other people will notice how out-of-place we look and will be talking about us behind our backs.

What can we do to help overcome these fears?

First of all, we can find out as much as possible about the event itself as soon as we receive the invitation.

Read the invitation very carefully to look for clues.

For example, most invitations state the dress code.

If you are not sure what "Black Tie", or "White Tie" mean, and, if you are a woman, what these terms imply in relation to what you should wear to complement your partner - just ask.

You may be able to ask the person who has sent the invitation, or someone within their organisation, and they should be able to explain the etiquette of the occasion more fully.

You might like to buy a book on formal etiquette in order to carry out further research.

Prepare yourself as fully as possible.

Secondly, practice some relaxation and visualisation techniques.

Practice deep breathing and relaxation so that if you start to feel nervous on the day, you can instantly begin to calm yourself and regain your composure.

Before the day, visualise yourself at the event feeling and behaving in a calm, confident, happy and relaxed manner.

Imagine yourself in a situation where you normally feel calm, confident, happy and relaxed - make a strong and clear mental picture of how you look, what you say, how you feel and what your body language is like.

Now transfer these feelings and mannerisms into a picture of yourself at the formal event. Imagine yourself looking calm, confident, happy and relaxed.

What do you look like? What are you saying? How are the people around you responding? How do you feel?

Practice and practice until you are the very epitome of calmness, confidence, happiness and relaxation - in your unconscious mind, you are completely at home in that formal setting.

By following the above technique, you are preparing your unconscious mind to support you on the day, because your unconscious mind will think that it has already been there, done that and there's nothing to worry about.

Your unconscious mind cannot tell the difference between fantasy and reality.

Therefore, it will not recognise any fear trigger on the day of the formal event as it has already been programmed to take it all in it's stride!

On the day of the formal event, allow yourself plenty of time to get ready and to travel.
Enjoy the whole experience.

Who knows when you will get another opportunity to wear those clothes or visit that location?

Savour the occasion and regard it as an exciting adventure.

To recap:
1. Prepare thoroughly - do your homework.
2. Relax and visualise yourself being completely confident and "at home" at the event.
3. Allow yourself plenty of time when getting ready and travelling.
4. Savour the experience.
5. Relax and enjoy!