A look at the effects of coming from a "non-caring" family and suggestions for actions you can take now to minimize its impact and start living a successful life.

Let's face it.

Not everyone is blessed with wonderful parents and a Leave it to Beaver family.

So, should you find yourself in the "non caring" family boat, which probably the majority of us do, then don't worry.

You can still develop a healthy self-identity, and self-esteem that can lead to your success despite the environment from which you came.

What is meant by "non-caring"?

Essentially, it's all how you perceive it.

If you personally feel you did not come from an especially supportive environment, you qualify.

If your parents' concept of tough love was a swift kick in the pants…every day…then you qualify.

The point is, don't let someone else define it for you.

No one else has lived your experience, and therefore no one else has a right to express their opinion about whether or not you came from a caring family.

It's your choice

Those who come from "non-caring" families have a choice, although it may not be immediately clear.

One, you can decide that you're going to allow it to continue to wield the power over you that it has up to this point.

You can use it to defend your lack of success, confidence, esteem, happiness, etc.

You can enable it to continue to debilitate you-thereby giving it power over you.

Or, you can choose not to. You can choose to conquer it.

You can choose to be successful, confident, happy, etc.

Overcoming it

I won't mislead you.

It's hard to undo everything you've been taught about how people should interact with one another, how love is best expressed, and what effective communication looks like.

It's hard to start from scratch and reprogram yourself.

But, I do not mislead you when I tell you, you can do it!

There are a multitude of celebrities and other powerful people who have made the escape and freely talk about it.

What can you do?

• Get inspired-Read about these great escapes-stories about those who have managed the shift from dysfunctional family background to success (Demi Moore is one American example that immediately comes to mind)
• Reflect and refuse-Reflect on your family experience-Write down all the negative messages you received on a sheet of paper, then for each one, write one reason why it's untrue. When you're done, rip up the paper and commit to starting fresh.
• Learn-Play catch up. Take courses on communication skills, conflict management skills, etc.-most companies offer these for the workplace
• Build a new support network-Make friends and surround yourself only with people who are supportive, and will encourage your growth
• Personal healing-Recognize that you will need to spend quality time healing yourself. For quicker results, enlist the support of a coach, therapist, etc. Identify things you can do on your own-e.g. meditation, journaling, etc.-anything that will help you cast out the negative messages and thoughts, sift through all the junk, and separate out what's you.
• Focus-Focus not on the past, but on the here and now, as well as what you want to be. It's too easy to get caught up in the vicious cycle of self-doubt and regret when we lose our focus and return to the past.
• Celebrate-The fact that you're reading this article means you already know what to do. Good luck with your journey and never forget to celebrate life and all its infinite possibility!

"To make up for lost time, commit to living in the present"