Don't be afraid to make mistakes!

Learn from the past!

Never, ever, beat yourself up about what has happened in the past.

I know that's easier said than done.

One major contributor to one's confidence levels and self-esteem has been the experiences and events that have happened in the past.

Two people can go through the same experience yet one is confident and the other is not. Why is this?

Well, it's how you use what has happened in you past.

The people with high confidence levels, people like myself, learn from experiences in the past rather than dwell and get down by them.

There are no failures only outcomes!

Failure is an opportunity

It is an opportunity to learn from your mistakes and to take stock of your situation.

I don't even like to use the term failure. Whatever you do in life there are inputs and outputs.

There are no failures, just outcomes.

A former Boss of mine said

"If you are not making any mistakes, you are not actually doing anything"

This is perfectly true and I have used this phrase with every person that I have lead in the workplace.

I have always encouraged my staff to try new ways of working and learning from the experience.
The real winners in life DO make mistakes.

Winners however, learn from them whereas losers usually give up when the going gets tough.

I failed my driving test 3 times before I passed.

Each time I failed, I learned the lessons where I had gone wrong and made sure that I didn't make them again.

Sure, I didn't repeat the same mistake twice - I just found other ways of failing the test!

There was a lesson to be learned about life though.

Every time the Test instructor said that I had failed, I felt so low it was unbelievable but I was determined to pass the test.

I turned up for each test wiser and more knowledgeable.

The fourth test resulted in the Test Instructor stating that "It was the best piece of driving they had seen in a long time".

Just think, if due to my demoralisation, I never retook that test over and over again, that "Best piece of driving" would never had taken place and I wouldn't have had the opportunity to drive the BMW's, the Audi's I have owned in the past and the Porsche that I drive today.

In your quest for success, no matter what it is, you will make mistakes along the way.

It will help you to overcome these setbacks if you acknowledge from the outset that you will make mistakes and it is all part of the learning experience.

It's an old cliché but a good one:

"There are many battles that are won or lost, but it is the
side that wins the War in the end that are the victors"

THE FEAR OF FAILURE

People's fear of success stems from their terror of failure.

They sacrifice the possibility of achievement, wealth and fame rather that risk making any mistakes.

Many opt out and avoid failure by doing nothing.

I have done this in the past.

When I was losing my hair I remember locking myself away from the world in my bedroom. I felt sorry for myself, scared to do anything incase I made a fool of myself.

This was due to my low self-esteem at the time and even leaving the house made me feel uncomfortable.

"What if I applied for any jobs and got turned down?" I wondered.

My self-esteem was so low at the time that I couldn't handle a rejection, I couldn't handle making any mistakes.

So I did the easy thing.

I DID NOTHING.

Too many people emphasise their weaknesses rather than their strengths.

They program themselves negatively to expect failure rather than positively to expect success.

If you start to imagine all of the reasons why you simply cannot succeed, then you will not even have the strength to try.

We all have the natural aversion to being embarrassed when things go wrong or to be made a fool of in the presence of others.

This holds people back and causes them to, dare I say it, PROCRASTINATE.

When success comes within their reach, fears of the unfamiliar prompt losers to cling to their comfortable old self-defeating ways.

They stay within their comfort zone

Successful people push straight through these fears and move even closer to their goals and on to bigger and better things.

They break out of their comfort zones and develop new ones.

Here are some step by step guidelines to learn from the past:

• Appreciate what has happened
• Write down what you could have done differently
• If you have to go through something like that again what would you change in your attitude and what would you change in the tasks that you completed
• Teach others about your experiences so they learn from what you did.
• Forget about it and move on to the next outcome!

Life Coach