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Effective Communications Ecourse
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| PART 2 |
PART 3 Communicating with different people |
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| PART 4 |
PART 5 |
PART 6 |
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PART 3 Communicating with different people In PART 2 we looked at getting into the other persons “world” when communicating. We are continuing that theme this time by looking at how people re-present the information that you give them in their own minds! Armed with this you can really hit home your communications in an effective manner.
We have already talked about making internal representations in previous chapters and the meta programme called CONVINCER describes the way that people think and what they base their decisions on. We have also described that information comes in one of 5 main senses as well. Well, it is now time to put all of this together by recognising the thinking process of a person by listening to the verbal indicators that they use in everyday speech and then using this information to tailor the way that we communicate to them. Remember, people like people who are like themselves! For example if we meet someone who makes decisions because “It looks right” and uses mainly visual indicators, we will find it easier to communicate to and explain things to that person if we show him a diagram or by painting him a picture in his minds eye. So below is a list of indicators of the words that people use for the 3 main modalities:
Below is a list of indicator phrases that people use, which ones do you use most often?
* EXERCISE * YOUR REPRESENTATIONAL SYSTEM What words do you use the most? How do you think? How would you best learn new material? By a diagram? Listening? Doing and feeling? What category do you fit into the most? Think about your friends and colleagues at work, what modalities do they use? Remember, people like people who are like themselves. If you know that someone is visual – when communicating with him you should draw him a picture or diagram and use phrases such as “Can you see it?” and “Just imagine” etc Eliciting thinking patterns through eye movement In the late seventies and early eighties researchers discovered that people move their eyes in a certain way when they think. Students were asked a series of questions and the researchers noticed that their eye movements, when thinking, followed a structured pattern. They realised that by looking at someone’s eyes, you could tell HOW they think. You can tell the way they are constructing their thoughts. There is a basic rule that says when: People are looking up – They are visualising People look horizontally to the left and right – They are remembering or constructing sounds People look down and to their left – They are accessing their feelings. People
look down and to the right – They are talking to themselves This is when you are seeing images from the past. You are recalling them from memory and are things that you have seen before. Questions to ask? “What
did your curtains look like when you were a teenager?” Visual Construct When you are visualising something you have never seen before or you are making something up in your head you are using visual construct. Sometimes you can use this one to see if people are lying to you! Questions to ask? “What
would your car look like if it had a soft top?” Auditory Recall This is when you are remember sounds or voices that you have heard before or things that you have said to yourself before. When you ask someone “What was the last thing I said?” they normally look in that direction. Questions to ask? “Can
you remember the sound of your fathers voice?” Auditory Construct This is when you are making sounds up that you have never heard before. Questions to ask? “What
would the national anthem sound like if it were played on the flute?”
When you are accessing your feelings you tend to look in this direction. Questions to ask? “What
does it feel like to touch this sand paper?” Internal Auditory This is where your eyes go when you are having internal dialogue and talking to yourself. Questions to ask? “Can
you so over in your mind – All I need is within me now”
In order to communicate effectively we need to absorb these action signals and then modify our behaviour, physiology and the words that we use to best mirror and match their preferred learning and thinking style. After all, communication is all about rapport building – it is a relationship between two or more people. Okay, that’s it for this module!
PART 4 - BEING AN OUTSTANDING COMMUNICATOR
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