It is reported that 1 in 3 marriages end in divorce nowadays so with that in mind there is a fair chance that you may fall in love in with someone who has already got children.

Indeed, you may have some children from your marriage and they may have children from theirs.

So, how can you be confident with this new set of children that you have inherited?

How can you be confident with step-children?

It's a difficult situation for step-children.

They have been used to their natural Mother or Father and now you are on the scene.

The first thing you should do is to make friends, treat them as a friend rather than a guardian.

Let's get one thing straight here from the outset. You are never going to be able to a like for like substitute for their real parents so don't try to be.

Establish early on that you love their Mum or Dad and that you want to be their friend. Don't say things like "I'm your Mum now!"

Instead say;

"Jo, you must really miss your Mummy. I'm not here to replace her, I really love your Daddy - I hope we can be friends?"

If you put yourself in the child's position it must be very difficult for them.

He/she could have 2 sets of step parents on either side!

It will be a confusing time for them, so appreciate this.

Also, in the early stages a lot of trust will be have to be built up.

Like it or not, your step children will be comparing you to their Mum or Dad - that's just reality. So you are on trial!

However, by being your natural self and by treating your step children with respect and as a friend, trust will naturally be built up and they will soon realise that you are not a two headed monster!