The second major meta programme is your frame of reference.

This is all about how people evaluate things and can be split out into two:

• Internal People
• External People

Internal People evaluate on the basis of what they think is appropriate. They make all of the decisions themselves and can have difficulty in accepting other people's feedback and direction.

External People evaluate on the basis of what other people think is appropriate. They need others to help guide, direct and motivate them. They cannot decide for themselves that they need external references.

Question? How do you know what type of person they are?
Answer - Ask them this type of question:

How do you know that you have done a good job? How do you know that …….?

What their response will tell you:

Internal people will tell you that they decide when they've done a good job.
External people tell you that they know because other people or outside information sources tell them.

Using this in the real world:

In Negotiations with these people:

Internal

Emphasise to the person that they will know inside that you are right. Say that they have to decide. Don't bother about external factors or what other people think, they will not be interested in this.

External

Emphasise what others think. Give them data and information to back things up. Give them feedback and reassurance.

In Managing these people:

Internal

These people have difficulty in accepted feedback or praise. They like to decide for themselves and don't like to be told what to do. They do best when they have little or no supervision.

External

These people need close management. They need constant feedback and re-assurance about how well they are doing. They need to be told what to do, how to do it and how well they are doing it.

Influencing language

Internal

You know best, you'll know when it's right, only you can decide, it's up to you

External

Can I give you some feedback, I will let you know, the facts show, other people think that,